The past 36 +/- hours have truly been a rollercoaster ride. John had his double radiation treatments yesterday, but things did not go well.
In the past week, the side effects have really intensified for him and have become unbearable. One of the big problems is the radiation has dried out his nasal mucous membranes and left it swollen, making it difficult to breath. During radiation he must wear a mask that prevents him from breathing through his mouth, so a couple of times they've had to stop treatment and pull him out of the machine due to breathing difficulties. I can only imagine the panic that must set in as you're lying in the machine, mask on, head immobilized, and you can't breath. One of those times was yesterday and it just, basically, put him over the edge. He spent the rest of the day and night in such a state of panic, pacing the floor from 3AM til after 6:30, totally restless and unable to calm down enough to sleep. As a result, he made the decision that he just could not go through with the last 2 treatments, which would have been today and tomorrow.
Aside from the breathing difficulties, the right side of his face has radiation burn, he's exhausted, his taste buds are gone, and his saliva production is almost nonexistent....making it all but impossible to eat. These days he lives on Carnation Instant Breakfast drinks, oatmeal, puddings, etc. It breaks my heart to see him like this and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it....I feel so helpless.
So, as this day draws to a close and we look forward to returning home tomorrow and beginning the recovery process, he has finally fallen asleep and is, at last, getting some much-needed rest.
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